Green For A Day (and it wasn’t even for the environment)

Well as everyone was likely well aware, last day was St. Patrick’s Day and due to over-celebration a wee bit of a lapse in production and publication took place. The staff at Northern Canuckistan are sorry for the interruptions but for the quality assurance they were necessary. It was a busy day in sports and news so to round it off we’ll combine all in one post.

St. Patrick’s Day however is an important day for many Canadians as the Irish Potato Famine of the mid 1800’s forced many to leave the emerald isle in search of a better life in England, Australia, America and Canada. The majority would have settled in Toronto and Montreal, but many in later generations migrated West.

In regards to hockey, it was history being made as Martin Brodeur earned his 552 win for the New Jersey Devils claiming the number one spot as most victorious goal-tender in NHL history. The event came as the Devils edged the Blackhawks on home ice tuesday evening. Take that Patrick Roy! (Roy has said he’s happy for Brodeur, but if Roy were still in the league we wonder if he’d do his usual skate across the rink to lay a smack down for his record bust).

The MLS name and logo may not woo over all hockey fans, but at least Vancouver has a more diverse sports market.

Vancouver was awarded an expansion Major League Soccer team, meaning the good old Whitecaps have been promoted for the 2011 season. The clincher seems to have been that Vancouver, unlike the other prospective cities, already had plans to retrofit BC Place for soccer use. However many agree the Whitecaps should still pursue having their own 15,000 seat stadium built by the seabus and port in downtown Vancouver. The Whitecaps will be Canuckistan’s second soccer club in the MLS, with Toronto being the first… as usual Toronto is centre of the universe… whoop de do eh?

He accused Bush for War Crimes yet this man got arrested for disrupting the peace. Ironic no?

Former President George W. Bush visited Calgary on Tuesday. The sold out luncheon to an invite only crowd was his first public address since leaving office in January to Barack Obam-bam. Protesters outside claimed he should have been arrested in Canada for war crimes… in a turn of events those people were arrested for disrupting the peace. Irony… it can happen to anyone.

Oh glorious leader Putin protect Mother Russia!

Russia has declared it will once again begin to re-arm its military, which still uses many Soviet era weapons and machines. Glorious leader Putin (lets be honest eh… he is running the show) wants to reassert his/”Russian” authority over the former Soviet sphere of influence, but many think it is purely sabre rattling or he wants Alaska so Sarah Palin wont just see Russia from her house, but she’ll be new neighbour. In related news, the Ukraine is expected to apply for an American bailout (militarily) with Russia acting like a hungry bear in the back lawn. The plan was originally to approach the Germans but something about “Stalingrad” seemed to be a real sore point for negotiations.

So if Palin says she can see Russia from her house does that mean Putin can spy on her from the Kremlin?

On a more serious and somber note, the seventeen bodies of the Cougar helicopter crash off the coast of the rock, Newfoundland, were recovered and funerals have already begun. Over 1,300 turned out for a multi-faith prayer session in St. Johns today, including PM Harper; whose hair was looking as wigged out as ever. Not even the fresh Atlantic air will move it a fraction.  The rest of the chopper was removed from the sea-floor today and will be subject to inquiry.

Mrs. Richardson passed away after suffering a head injury while learning to ski in Quebec

Also in the headlines Natasha Richardson, actress and wife of Liam Neeson, passed away at the age of 45 from injuries suffered whilst skiing in Quebec on a bunny hill. Reports thus far seem to indicate that after hitting her head it took a while before brain swelling was limited by the skull creating a pressure block or worse damage putting her into critical condition yesterday. She was treated in two Quebec hospitals before being flown to New York where family visited her bedside. The accident seems rather odd as many people crash while learning to ski and never end up so tragically. Other famous folks killed in skiing accidents were Sonny Bono and one of the Kennedy clan, Michael Kennedy, after hitting trees in 1998 . Their deaths were only days apart after accidents on different sides of the U.S.

Isn’t It Just An Obamanation…

Barack Obama was impressed with the size and decorations in Ottawa

As most Canadians would have heard, today was the day when American President Barack Obama flew in his imposing 747, “Air Force One”, to pay a neighbourly visit to us folks in Canada… better known as “America’s Hat”. Many in the American press wondered how an African American leader would be received in the nation, though not because of racial bias rather, seeing as Mother Nature had decided to drop a fresh batch of snow to slow down the “beast-ly” motorcade route. Well sufficed to say the tank of a limousine had no problems manoeuvring through Ottawa and President Obama did fine in the snowy weather as many seemed to forget he hails from Chicago, one of a few cities in America that gets hit by the Arctic Outflows allowing the tundra to creep past our borders. In the brief working-lunch visit Mr. Obama met with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, whose unique hair made more headlines on the American channels than his policy.

Obama focused on the real matters at hand.

Mr. Obama and Mr. Harper claimed to have talked about a variety of issues and even took the time to address the press and take some questions. I’m sure Obama later regretted that decision as he would have to wait twice as long for Harper’s responses as they were said in both official languages, taking up time from allowing more questions. Climate change, economic stimulus, auto workers, NAFTA, border security and Afghanistan were key topics. However there was no mention of Arctic sovereignty or which NHL team is Obama’s favourite and why. President Obama did offer one quote which bodes well for Canuckistan… “I love this country.” He then attributed these sentiments regarding the Great White North to his brother-in-law, several aides in the White House, and the huge support Canadians played in assisting in his election campaign just last year. In fact his approval rating is higher in Canada than it is in the United States.

As he proceeded to make his way back to Hanger 11 at Ottawa’s International Airport to meet and greet some five hundred American embassy workers and talk with Michael Ignatieff (leader of the Opposition and whiner as to having only 15 minutes with Obama), he found time to stray from the pre-determined motorcade route and drive through the market of Ottawa to interact with Canadians and spend some of that monopoly money to buy a beaver tail snack. Secretly it was Obama’s only form of stimulus for the Canadian economy so he can now focus on a “buy American” to bail out his nation. In total Obama waved for 10 seconds (coming and going) to people outside the parliamentary buildings, some of whom had been there since the crack of dawn, waved to people ice skating on the canal, took five minutes to purchase some fine cuisine, and wave as he left aboard Air Force One.

After all this there is still one question unanswered, the next time he wants to work with the Canadian Government to stimulate the North American economies will he buy putine?

Obama walks back to his car beaver tail in hand. No word on PETA response as of yet.